Rural Lifestyle Enthusiasts Gifts

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Lamb Noise.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Static cling."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Twitter that!

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Mummy?!

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"I like friut flies!"

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

A cow on a drip.

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"I can't afford to feed you."

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'