Rural Lifestyle Appreciator Gifts

Potential Undesirable Side-Effect of a 'Car-less' Society.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Lamb Noise.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Static cling."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

Twitter that!

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Mummy?!

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

A cow on a drip.

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"I like friut flies!"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"I can't afford to feed you."

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

I've been doing sit-ups!