Rural Living Appreciator Gifts

"If you could eat only one type of grass for the rest of your life, what would you choose?"

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

Lamb Noise.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"They’re real."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Farmers' Warnings.

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

Milkin' Impossible

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

An English Gold Field

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Mummy?!

"We missed Fashion Week!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"I like friut flies!"