Rural Living Appreciator Pillows

"If you could eat only one type of grass for the rest of your life, what would you choose?"

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

Please Drove Carefully.

Lamb Noise.

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"They’re real."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Farmers' Warnings.

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Milkin' Impossible

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

An English Gold Field

Mummy?!

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"We missed Fashion Week!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"I like friut flies!"

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'