Rural Living Lover Gifts

Tell the pigs, operation New Year has begun!

Maternity ward on the farm.

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Lamb Noise.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"They’re real."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Farmers' Warnings.

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Milkin' Impossible

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

An English Gold Field

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"We missed Fashion Week!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

A cow on a drip.

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

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