Rural Retreat Lover Gifts

'We love the countryside, especially since all the shops moved out there.'

"When skippy barks, He barks for the King."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Man In Steamboat.

Pear: 'OH, hey WOW, there's my old Neighbourhood!

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Lamb Noise.

"The new house is almost ready!"

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"We missed Fashion Week!"

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"I can't afford to feed you."

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'Another artisanal B&B.'

The Rudges' peaceful home

'I love you guys!'

Maternity ward on the farm.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

COW. JUST COW.

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

'What's the night life-like?

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

Rustic Camping: No Water, Electric or Wi-Fi

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

Septic Fields Forever.

"I told everyone we're hibernating. Whatever you do, don't answer the phone."

"The only downside to free-range is I can't get a Wi-Fi signal out here."