Rural Retreat Enthusiast Gifts

'What's the night life-like?

Rural Pleasures - Wife off with another man whilst husband sleeps

Septic Fields Forever.

Pull up Daisy! You're going too deep!

'I thought you'd be calling me sooner or later.'

Nudist Camp: Sorry - Clothed Until June

A*se End of Nowhere POPULATION: YOU

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Twitter that!

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

"We missed Fashion Week!"

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

'Another artisanal B&B.'

I've been doing sit-ups!

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Slow, Men at Work.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

over crowded car.

'That's the sign of a good painting!'