Rural Retreat Fan Gifts

"That's why I come here for the weekends - 127 acres."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"They’re real."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

This historic alpine hut has stood here among the native beech trees for over a century, and may stand for another, often unoccupied by always watched over by that ever playful mountain parrot, the Kea.

"We missed Fashion Week!"

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"Don't you go worrying your head about the lack of sea view."

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

'Another artisanal B&B.'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

Stunt Fly flying through a cow.

Scrooge McCow

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

'What's the night life-like?

Septic Fields Forever.

That's one harmonious butt hole!

Snow Cow

Cosmopolitan cows: 'Hay!'

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

A rest by the way

'Don't tell me... you're from Nevada, right?'

'Well Ma, I guess it's time to update our milking machine.'

High Cow tide tonight.

"Not now. I'm having a staff meeting."

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

'Have you ever thought about getting a post office box in town, Bob?'

'I thought you'd be calling me sooner or later.'

'Pa, we got gyped on those Holsteins - It's raining and their spots are running!'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'