Rural Retreat Fan Gifts

"That's why I come here for the weekends - 127 acres."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"They’re real."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"We missed Fashion Week!"

This historic alpine hut has stood here among the native beech trees for over a century, and may stand for another, often unoccupied by always watched over by that ever playful mountain parrot, the Kea.

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"Don't you go worrying your head about the lack of sea view."

'Another artisanal B&B.'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

Stunt Fly flying through a cow.

Scrooge McCow

'What's that smell?'

'What's the night life-like?

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

Snow Cow

Septic Fields Forever.

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

Cosmopolitan cows: 'Hay!'

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'Well Ma, I guess it's time to update our milking machine.'

High Cow tide tonight.

'Don't tell me... you're from Nevada, right?'

"Not now. I'm having a staff meeting."

A rest by the way

A*se End of Nowhere POPULATION: YOU

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'Pa, we got gyped on those Holsteins - It's raining and their spots are running!'

'I thought you'd be calling me sooner or later.'