Rustic Retreat Fan Gifts

"It's so nice to be living off the grid."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

A Good Batch.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Hot Pie Therapy

Another Turning Point in the Industrial Revolution. Ford Motor Co. On second thought, let's put the cars on the conveyor belt.

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"The new house is almost ready!"

Pre-Television Man Caves

Draw!

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

This historic alpine hut has stood here among the native beech trees for over a century, and may stand for another, often unoccupied by always watched over by that ever playful mountain parrot, the Kea.

Biliard Enthusiast

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"Don't you go worrying your head about the lack of sea view."

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

The Rudges' peaceful home

St Bernard Toilet Holder

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

"It's 3D 4K HD - ideal for my old silent movie collection."

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Rustic Camping: No Water, Electric or Wi-Fi

"That's why I come here for the weekends - 127 acres."

'I haven't driven that car since I planted this tree...always thought it got stolen.'

'Oh, how utterly romantic! A hunter rug in front of the fireplace!'

"What's Your Problem, Man?"

Fisherman finds a Poison Ivy Warning Sign.

"The lime-green vest is a little much, and the shoes - good Lord, those are women's shoes!"

'When they said, a vacation without frills, I didn't dream, this frilless!'

"You will be visited by three spirits, and no, they will not speed things up with a joint Power Point presentation."

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'