Rural Retreat Enthusiast T-Shirts

'What's the night life-like?

Rural Pleasures - Wife off with another man whilst husband sleeps

Septic Fields Forever.

Pull up Daisy! You're going too deep!

'I thought you'd be calling me sooner or later.'

Nudist Camp: Sorry - Clothed Until June

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"We missed Fashion Week!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

I've been doing sit-ups!

Slow, Men at Work.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

over crowded car.

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"

The Farmer's Return.

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

Anyone seen my horns?

"That's why I come here for the weekends - 127 acres."