Rural Retreat Lover T-Shirts

'We love the countryside, especially since all the shops moved out there.'

"When skippy barks, He barks for the King."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Man In Steamboat.

Pear: 'OH, hey WOW, there's my old Neighbourhood!

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Lamb Noise.

"The new house is almost ready!"

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"We missed Fashion Week!"

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"I can't afford to feed you."

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'Another artisanal B&B.'

COW. JUST COW.

'I love you guys!'

The Rudges' peaceful home

Maternity ward on the farm.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

'What's the night life-like?

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

Rustic Camping: No Water, Electric or Wi-Fi

Septic Fields Forever.

"I told everyone we're hibernating. Whatever you do, don't answer the phone."

"The only downside to free-range is I can't get a Wi-Fi signal out here."

The Assistant

"That's why I come here for the weekends - 127 acres."