Rural Life Lovers Gifts

"The only downside to free-range is I can't get a Wi-Fi signal out here."

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

The Assistant

Amish Bumper Sticker

'I know what you were thinking!'

'I love you guys!'

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Lamb Noise.

"They’re real."

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Mummy?!

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"I like friut flies!"

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"I can't afford to feed you."

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'