Rural Life Admirers Gifts

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

Little bo bleep.

I would ask you to cease and desist from sitting on my burrow!

"Black or white, Vicar?"

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

French wine

Lamb Noise.

"They’re real."

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Playing pig

"Static cling."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Mummy?!

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

A cow on a drip.

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

"I like friut flies!"

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'