Ranch Life Appreciator Pillows

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

Waking Up With Rooster.

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Mummy?!

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"I like friut flies!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Croc feed machine contains chickens for feeding crocodiles at croc farm.

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

'I've combined the DNA of a sheep and a manatee, creating...ewe-manatee!'

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

St Bernard Toilet Holder

Bird Song.