Rural Scene Appreciator Gifts

Cow Art Exhibitions.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Static cling."

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

Twitter that!

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Mummy?!

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

A cow on a drip.

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"I like friut flies!"

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

St Bernard Toilet Holder

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."