Rural Culture Enthusiast Gifts

Cattle Drive Zoom

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Twitter that!

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

I've been doing sit-ups!

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Slow, Men at Work.

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

'Listen, McDonald, either knock off the E-I-E-I-O, or I call the sheriff!'

Early American Think tank

"This is nice. Just you, me, Buster and a landscape by Andrew Wyeth."

Meanwhile in Yorkshire

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

The Farmer's Return.