Rural Charm Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm thinking of planting flowers and putting a picket fence from my door out to the highway ... how would that be?'

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

The Cattle show Week.

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Hey mum, do you wanna see s'thing disgustin'?

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

I've been doing sit-ups!

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Slow, Men at Work.

Early American Think tank

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

'What's the night life-like?

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Nice six-pack!

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"