Rural Chic Enthusiast Gifts

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

A cow on a drip.

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

I've been doing sit-ups!

Slow, Men at Work.

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

'Are you paying in cash, check, credit card or livestockfarm produce?'

'What's the night life-like?

over crowded car.

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"

'That's the sign of a good painting!'

Septic Fields Forever.

Anyone seen my horns?

'Where is your glove? When you went in you were wearing a glove!'

'Boy, Mommie, I'm sure glad you're not a working mother.'