Farmhouse Chic Lover Gifts

Scarecrow with a TV head.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Scuba cow"

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

'I didn't know you were a cook. I just heard Daddy say you'd make good sausages.'

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

The Rural Bidet...

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

I would ask you to cease and desist from sitting on my burrow!

'Would Sir care for a hot towel?'

A solar powered cow.

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

Cattle farmer's super-market

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

Animal Farm: Battery Hens Not Included

"Not that it makes a difference, but is this Wednesday or Thursday?"

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

'It all sounds very nice...But I'm a bit busy. Have you tried the shepherds behind the hill?'

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

Grant Wood didn't like the original composition for his 'American Gothic' painting.

'What do you think of the barn conversion.'

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

'Retirement is great, I don't have to do the early morning milking anymore: I can finally sleep in!'

"Frank! You're early! I never wanted you to see me like this!!"

'First, wool. Then, lamb chops, Now they've got us creating antibiotics for them.'

Happy Hens.

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

Waaay too corporate!

"Frankly, I was fed up with walking barefoot in muck all the time..."

Farm silos: flour, sugar, hops, jam.