Farmhouse Chic Lover Gifts

Scarecrow with a TV head.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Scuba cow"

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'The environment people only worry about endangered species, not endangered individuals.'

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

The Rural Bidet...

'I didn't know you were a cook. I just heard Daddy say you'd make good sausages.'

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

I would ask you to cease and desist from sitting on my burrow!

'Would Sir care for a hot towel?'

A solar powered cow.

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

Cattle farmer's super-market

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

Animal Farm: Battery Hens Not Included

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"Not that it makes a difference, but is this Wednesday or Thursday?"

'It all sounds very nice...But I'm a bit busy. Have you tried the shepherds behind the hill?'

"Be honest Walter...Is it me you really love or just the farm-fresh eggs every morning?"

'Retirement is great, I don't have to do the early morning milking anymore: I can finally sleep in!'

"Frank! You're early! I never wanted you to see me like this!!"

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

Grant Wood didn't like the original composition for his 'American Gothic' painting.

'What do you think of the barn conversion.'

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

'First, wool. Then, lamb chops, Now they've got us creating antibiotics for them.'

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

Happy Hens.

Waaay too corporate!

"Frankly, I was fed up with walking barefoot in muck all the time..."

Farm silos: flour, sugar, hops, jam.