Farmyard Fashionista Gifts

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

Erm... you got any wax, hon'?

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

'The sty is falling!!'

"Do kids eat free?"

'This is a real barnburner.'

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

Band made of a sheep guitarist, cow saxophonist and rabbit singer

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

'I don't suppose you have any grey poupon?'

Cattle farmer's super-market

"Farmer Jones has come back, and he's got a pin!"

An Autobahn in the form of a farm barn.

'Stop playing hard to get!'

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

Decorator Farming

The cows' grocery list at the feed store was getting longer and longer.

Would you mind if I hung round your backside for a while?

Judas Iscariot mistakenly thinks the last supper is dinner theater.

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

'Wow, you got Bob! Lucky you, he's definitely the best shearer around!'

Scarecrow with a TV head.

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

"I get more respect wearing a uniform."

Venus Fly Trap Hat

A suit of scarecrows

'It's about to hatch... go boil some water.'

Mother chicken is sad to see eggs in the grocery store.

"Frankly, I was fed up with walking barefoot in muck all the time..."

COWS: Cow chess