Fashion Farmhands Gifts

Chicken chaps

"They’re real."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

"I'll repeat the question! Does this axe belong to you?"

'It used to be a dairy farm, but now the milk produces therapeutic proteins, and the eggs contain antibiotics.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Cattle farmer's super-market

Farmer eating lunch on resting cow.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of working with goats are the hardest.'

An Autobahn in the form of a farm barn.

'We like to welcome new team members with three cheers and a wet towel.'

'Now, son - let's review. This is a cow! That was a bull!'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

"You should have been here at eight o'clock."

"The crop this year is 'mashed potato'!"

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

'His experience as a paratrooper in the army was good training for feeding cattle. Both take lots of guts.'

'Looks like he's in a good mood today.'

Scary Scarecrow

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?