Farmhouse Fanatic Gifts

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

'What do you think of the barn conversion.'

Cow Pinatas

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

COWS: Cow Pong

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

'The sty is falling!!'

'You knew all the time that we were inseparable.'

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

Cheesie Rider

"Do kids eat free?"

Wild Cow.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

Fresh off the Farm.

Money Tree

'It's definitely not broken... but you may have pulled a hammy!'

'Yes, I did tell you to hang the fire extinguisher where it would be easy to reach, but...'

Need I say, timing and accuracy are imperative?!

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

BOO MOO!

It's an I-O-Ewe.

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'