Farmhouse Fanatic Gifts

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

'What do you think of the barn conversion.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

COWS: Cow Pong

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'You knew all the time that we were inseparable.'

Wild Cow.

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"Do kids eat free?"

Cheesie Rider

'George, stop playing with the children.'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

Fresh off the Farm.

Money Tree

'It's definitely not broken... but you may have pulled a hammy!'

'Yes, I did tell you to hang the fire extinguisher where it would be easy to reach, but...'

Need I say, timing and accuracy are imperative?!

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

BOO MOO!

Domestic Animals.

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Cow Pilot.

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'Wanna look for corn on the internet?'

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'