Farmhouse Fan Gifts

Grant Wood didn't like the original composition for his 'American Gothic' painting.

The Rural Bidet...

"No, Boris Johnson is not under there."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

"Well, that one got away."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Yoyo sheep

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

The pig that had a glimpse of the afterlife.

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Milkin' Impossible

1,572 Performances.

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

'Hang on a minute...'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"Is his nose locally grown?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky..."

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."