Farmyard Fans Gifts

Bar Code Cows.

Computer Dating for Pigs

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

"Is his nose locally grown?"

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"Do kids eat free?"

'The sty is falling!!'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

Grocery Shopping

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Let's all go to a farmer's market.

The Scenic Route

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.