Farming Fans Gifts

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Tractor

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

Niche Extracurriculars

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

The Rural Bidet...

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

Cow Pilot.