Farming Fan Gifts

"Why do you want to know if you're covered by workers comp?"

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

The American Farmer: a vanishing breed.

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

"One cold glass of milk, please."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Milking time!"

Where condensed milk comes from...

Crop Rotation

"I'm working from home today."

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

'Yes, I am looking for an experienced cattleman.'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Genetically modify your own sweetcorn.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'Whoa, what's this? I specifically requested the Kosher mean.'

'A vet! I had you picked in advertising!'

Combined Harvester

'If you can read this you're grazing too close.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Oh,thank you God!

'Your dinner will be a little late - the mail hasn't come yet.'

Ideas that failed: E-Milk.com, Electronic Dairy Farming.

"Sure you think Farmer Brown is okay, but you don't have to put with his cold hands every morning!"

Septic Fields Forever.

Billboards being used as garden markers in farm fields to show where certain crops are located.

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"