Farm Shop Fan Gifts

Caution: Free range chickens next five miles. . . eggs, eggs, eggs!

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

"Is his nose locally grown?"

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

Grocery Shopping

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Let's all go to a farmer's market.

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.