Quirky Farming Fan Gifts

Production in times of pandemic

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

Hydroponic Gardening

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

'This is my mom and dad.'