Quirky Farming Fan Gifts

Production in times of pandemic

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

Hydroponic Gardening

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

"We raise our beef humanely."