Rural Culture Lover Gifts

'Open wide and say 'Ooh ahrr'.'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Lamb Noise.

"They’re real."

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"Static cling."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"I can't afford to feed you."

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

COW. JUST COW.

"This is nice. Just you, me, Buster and a landscape by Andrew Wyeth."

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

Stunt Fly flying through a cow.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

Maternity ward on the farm.

Scrooge McCow

'I love you guys!'

Slow, Men at Work.

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

'What's that smell?'

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."