City Life Comedians Gifts

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Hoodie Hang-out

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

'For Sale by Neighbor'

From Here You Can See Bugger All

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

This is where Brent council sends you

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

Conflicted Chief

"How am I rampaging?"

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

"He says this week is absolutely manic, could you reschedule?"

"The neighborhood association wants to know why you're never at our meetings."

Manhole Warning

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

'Quit blubbering. This is why I hate taking you shopping.'

An office building made of different sized boxes stacked on top of one another; each box says "This side up" on the side.

"This city is in trouble. It smells better down here."

'Do you think there's still a culture of sexism in the city?'

"My work is to stare into space."

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

',,,I'm pretty sure I just saw your new window washer harassing another female tenant,'

Pick Your Own Cannabis.

A vendor with his tongue stuck out in disgust stands next to a food cart selling brussels sprouts.

The Insanity Plea.