City Life Humor Gifts

"I'm putting you on speaker - it's essential for everyone to hear our conversation."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Hoodie Hang-out

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

From Here You Can See Bugger All

"Thank god we're out of the city."

This is where Brent council sends you

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

Cook complaining to milkman

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

An office building made of different sized boxes stacked on top of one another; each box says "This side up" on the side.

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

"This city is in trouble. It smells better down here."

'Do you think there's still a culture of sexism in the city?'

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."

Chugger

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

'It's Darwin's only chance to practice when he's in the city.'