City Life Comedian T-Shirts

"Just a small favour, Perkins. Stop saying 'd'ailleurs'"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Hoodie Hang-out

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

From Here You Can See Bugger All

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

This is where Brent council sends you

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

"How am I rampaging?"

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

Keister Island

Would you mind if I hung round your backside for a while?

Manhole Warning

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

'Quit blubbering. This is why I hate taking you shopping.'

An office building made of different sized boxes stacked on top of one another; each box says "This side up" on the side.

"My work is to stare into space."

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

"This city is in trouble. It smells better down here."

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

'Do you think there's still a culture of sexism in the city?'

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

Pick Your Own Cannabis.

A vendor with his tongue stuck out in disgust stands next to a food cart selling brussels sprouts.

"I always thought getting old would take longer."