City Dweller Humorist T-Shirts

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"The view is all prewar brick."

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

The Denouement is Nigh!

'It's not snow, it's pigeons'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Hoodie Hang-out

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

This is where Brent council sends you

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

Robinia Floribunda

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

"It's been a rainy winter."

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

'I told you it was a stupid idea getting a pet lemming.'

"Call a veterinary, chief. I think he's got a kidney infection..."

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

"Well, Charles, it wasn't a 'pesky little wasp,' it was a hummingbird."

Cook complaining to milkman

'Pssst...wanna buy some tabs?' (Launderette)

"So we're agreed. You get everything south of 59th. We get the rest. Capice?"

'Do you think there's still a culture of sexism in the city?'

Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.

"It gets a lot of refracted light."