Traffic Critic Gifts

'I need to work a different shift.'

"It's been a lot less crowded since they introduced a congestion charge."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Dog Crossing

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Family traits.

Santa's a Traffic Reporter during his off season.

(Road sign arrow.) As geez, we're merging down to one plain.

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

I can't believe what I see phobia. 'This is your new flying traffic reporter. I think I'm dreaming.'

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

"The people who hate trucks as environmentally destructive traffic obstacles and think that drivers are grubby idiots are waiting for their goods!"

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

Traffic Lights Medicine

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

"Be careful folks—The roads are wet and idiots are driving on them."

'Bad pile up at the 6:30 Aerobics class today. If you're exercising, better take take the stationary bike or stair-master.'

"I would have been driven out of my mind if the lanes hadn't been closed."

Wind turbines seen as a blot on the landscape by motorists who don't notice the impact of the motorway.

"Lollipop man, dear.. what lollipop man?"

All-way stops.

'Doc, I'm alway getting mixed signals.'

"Wanting traffic to slow down, we don't post pothole warning signs."

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'

He takes snitching on car drivers to another level…

'All roads may lead to Rome but so does all the road rage.'

A madness of motorists

No Parking.

You can only get hit from the rear!

Clark gets nailed.

Highway: tourist and resident traps.

Speed Limit.