Traffic Nerd Gifts

Local drivers had been mindful of crosswalks ever since that one guy was dragged to the bushes and mauled.

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Dog Crossing

Family traits.

'Oh no a speed camera.'

'So then. The handsome p.c. noticed that the tax disc on Cinderella's pumpkin carriage was well out of date.'

At the gallery of Fine Art.

Santa's a Traffic Reporter during his off season.

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

(Road sign arrow.) As geez, we're merging down to one plain.

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

Gas Pedal Sticking?

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Watch out for the traffic rules! Especially in other countries!

Traffic Lights Medicine

"You were doing the speed limit. I found that suspicious."

"I would have been driven out of my mind if the lanes hadn't been closed."

"I believe you to be over our new drink-drive limits, and require you to blow into this..!"

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

'Good thing your car was stationary when it hit me.'

"Lollipop man, dear.. what lollipop man?"

All-way stops.

"Interesting concept. Have you thought about using fossil fuels?"

'Doc, I'm alway getting mixed signals.'

Lawyer Xing

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

Traffic cone tells bollard: 'It's a tough life ... always on the road.'

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

Pat St. James, Traffic-Reporting Private Investigator

Clark gets nailed.

Speed Limit.

Car Restrictions