Traffic Commentator Gifts

'Why is it called rush hour when no one rushes anywhere?'

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

"Wanting traffic to slow down, we don't post pothole warning signs."

Congestion Zone sign: 'It's packed full of people complaining about it.'

Highway: tourist and resident traps.

'If you don't like the way I drive, get off my pavement.'

SUV space hog

"The people who hate trucks as environmentally destructive traffic obstacles and think that drivers are grubby idiots are waiting for their goods!"

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Dog Crossing

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

Laughing Zone Ahead

Family traits.

"Dadgum this color blindness."

'It's a slow trap.'

Santa's a Traffic Reporter during his off season.

(Road sign arrow.) As geez, we're merging down to one plain.

I can't believe what I see phobia. 'This is your new flying traffic reporter. I think I'm dreaming.'

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

The Enemies Within? They're the Boys in Blue

'Bad pile up at the 6:30 Aerobics class today. If you're exercising, better take take the stationary bike or stair-master.'

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

"Be careful folks—The roads are wet and idiots are driving on them."

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

Wind turbines seen as a blot on the landscape by motorists who don't notice the impact of the motorway.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Snail Crossing.

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

'I need to work a different shift.'

'Doc, I'm alway getting mixed signals.'