Traffic Comedian Gifts

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

'Well, you wanted me to stop at it, so I stopped at it!'

'He's got a point.'

"Hi, can you look in your rear view mirror? I have been giving you the finger."

Push for Disco...

Laughing Zone Ahead

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

Alabama Traffic Jam

'It's a slow trap.'

Slow, Men at Work.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'

Toad roadkill.

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

"The worst mimes are those who pretend to wash your windshield, yet expect to get paid."

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

Snail Crossing.

'You were doing the speed limit. I ofund that suspicious.'

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'When is everyone else going to be driven off the road?'

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

'I was stuck in traffic for two hours on the way here, so I have my urine sample ready.'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'