Traffic Law Comedian Gifts

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

Laughing Zone Ahead

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Give Way To Cyclists

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

Snail Crossing.

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

Move to Arizona.

'When is everyone else going to be driven off the road?'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

UFO at the traffic lights...

'I'll do the talking.'

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'