Traffic Violator Humorist Gifts

Stopped by the police.

"Okay, maybe I did run that red light a little. But in my defence, I was too drunk to notice."

Push for Disco...

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Give Way To Cyclists

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

Snail Crossing.

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'Not so hard on the braking, Mrs. Buggins!'

Brookstick Clamp

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

Digital Communication.

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

Car driver in bus lane: 'But I am a bus driver officer, it's my day off.'

Desert crawler sees cactus holding speed camera.

Bus Lane - Fire Lane - Pizza Lane

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'