Traffic Trial Humorist Gifts

"I've heard some lame excuses in my time, but checking your cell phone to see when the new 'Distracted Driving' law goes into effect takes the cake."

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

Push for Disco...

"Bailiff."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

Alabama Traffic Jam

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Repeat after me..."

'It's a slow trap.'

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

"Guilty times infinity."

Give Way To Cyclists

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

'Your first trial?'

Toad roadkill.

'We had to bring a judge out of retirement, but we got you a speedy trial.'

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Snail Crossing.

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

"Calm down! This wood doll is the best attorney ourcompany ever had."