Traffic Trial Humorist Gifts

"I've heard some lame excuses in my time, but checking your cell phone to see when the new 'Distracted Driving' law goes into effect takes the cake."

Push for Disco...

"Bailiff."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Alabama Traffic Jam

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Repeat after me..."

'It's a slow trap.'

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

"Guilty times infinity."

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

Give Way To Cyclists

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

'Your first trial?'

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Snail Crossing.

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'We had to bring a judge out of retirement, but we got you a speedy trial.'

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

"It was due to ice!. . . Yes, I dropped my popsicle in my lap!"

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"Calm down! This wood doll is the best attorney ourcompany ever had."