Traffic Accident Humorist Gifts

"Oh my gosh, my husband's been hit by a bus!? Tell me, is he wearing clean underwear?"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

"Okay. Hit it."

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

Give Way To Cyclists

A Not So Grand Slam.

'How was my emergency stop?'

Cotton candy

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Snail Crossing.

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

'It doesn't work...'

"And hold the mayo."

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

"Well done!"

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"