Accident Survivor Humorist Gifts

You ought to know better at your age. Always walk facing traffic.

Please Don't Ask...

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'This is your lucky day!'

Basketball injuries.

A Not So Grand Slam.

'How was my emergency stop?'

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Cotton candy

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Toad roadkill.

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'As a kid, whenever I was at a petting zoo, I got bit, butted and stomped on.'

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'It doesn't work...'

"And hold the mayo."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"Well done!"

'Chainsaw Championships.'

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Bad experiences at an early age can affect the whole life.

Pitchers arm falls off.

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'

Dinosaur crossing sign.