Car Accident Humorist Gifts

'Shall I call an ambulance or will you walk alongside?'

"What are the chances we'd both have brand new black Porsches?"

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Okay. Hit it."

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

A Not So Grand Slam.

'How was my emergency stop?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

No Hand Signals

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Lucky car.

Cotton candy

Freak Accident Specialist

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

"I can help you - I'm a para-legal."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"