Car Crash Humorist Gifts

'How was my emergency stop?'

'It doesn't work...'

Dinosaur crossing sign.

How's the new company car?

"And hold the mayo."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

A Not So Grand Slam.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Okay. Hit it."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

No Hand Signals

Lucky car.

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Cotton candy

Freak Accident Specialist

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.