Car Crash Humorist Pillows

'How was my emergency stop?'

'It doesn't work...'

Dinosaur crossing sign.

How's the new company car?

"And hold the mayo."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Okay. Hit it."

A Not So Grand Slam.

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

No Hand Signals

Cotton candy

Lucky car.

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.