Traffic Accident Humorist Pillows

"Oh my gosh, my husband's been hit by a bus!? Tell me, is he wearing clean underwear?"

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'It's a slow trap.'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

Give Way To Cyclists

A Not So Grand Slam.

"Okay. Hit it."

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

'How was my emergency stop?'

Cotton candy

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Freak Accident Specialist

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866-1957 - Inventor of Asphalt.

'Harold, your right turn signal is still 'on'.'

Toad roadkill.

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

Snail Crossing.

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

"And hold the mayo."

'It doesn't work...'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'Look on the bright side, Officer, I've reduced the electrical consumption of an entire neighborhood.'

Move to Arizona.

"Well done!"

'Business has doubled since we organized that women's beach volleyball tournament across the street.'

"Of all the vehicles in heaven and you had to rear-end his car?"

'I wasn't walking, officer. I was jogging.'