Accident Humorist Gifts

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"Now it's broken."

Speed laws enforced by gawkers at accidents.

"Well done!"

Mobile library.

'How are we going to explain this to our insurance company?'

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'

A Not So Grand Slam.

Freak Accident Specialist

Cotton candy

"Gues who I ran into today?"

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

'This is your lucky day!'

Basketball injuries.

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"Larry does all his own stunts."

Bathing and Showering.

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

'How was my emergency stop?'

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

"And hold the mayo."

'It doesn't work...'

Dual Airbags

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'