Car Troubles Humorist Gifts

"Yes indeed ma'am - soft going."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

Volkswagen Scandal

'This is your lucky day!'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Okay. Hit it."

A Not So Grand Slam.

'How was my emergency stop?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

No Hand Signals

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Freak Accident Specialist

Cotton candy

Lucky car.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"And hold the mayo."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"