Humorist With A Broken Car Gifts

Ed on the price of gas

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

Volkswagen Scandal

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"Okay. Hit it."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

All you'd expect in a British car!

'How was my emergency stop?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

No Hand Signals

Lucky car.

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

It's got off-street parking for 952 corgi cars'

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

"And hold the mayo."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'It doesn't work...'

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.