Auto Repair Humorist Gifts

'And that's just an estimate sir!'

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

"It's important to fix the horn because the brakes don't work..."

"Rad's shot. Looks like a drive-by."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

Volkswagen Scandal

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

"Okay. Hit it."

'Well, if I have a short circuit, just lengthen it.'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

"I got a 'millennial anti-theft device' in my car." "Steering wheel lock?" "Stick shift."

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

"Instead of filling in all the pot holes, it’d be easier to lower the rest of the road."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

"So tell me about your early years on the road..."

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

Tin man visits automotive oil change facility.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Parking? I don't think so.

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."